Marcos kids:David, Eugenio, Pearla and Mateo (9)
Narrated by Renee
Marcos and I have been having a great time as newlyweds. He does not even mind the fact that I burn the pancakes once in a while.
We live in the same house where he lived with Linda. Amazingly enough I still get along with Linda and even her former dogs. They are with us all the time and I have to admit they console me when the kids leave.
Marcos surprised me the other day and asked me if I wanted move. He felt as though we needed a new beginning and this house held too many memories. I never asked him to move. I love this house but I also wanted something that I choose. I agreed and we began our search for our house.
We found the perfect smaller house for us. Our old house sold fast and even though Linda was entitled to 1/2 she decide that Marcos could keep it. Marcos and I felt blessed that we would have this house to decorate in our style.
I love my new smaller kitchen. I have been taking advantage and taking some cooking lessons. Hopefully I will not burn anymore pancakes. I have also discovered that I am pregnant. I havent told Marcos yet because he has been working overtime. By the time he comes home I am sound asleep. I will tell him soon enough.
The kids have come to spend their time with us. They love the new house. It seems strange to them still that I was their nanny and now im their step mom. As much as we bonded as me being the "nanny" its so different now that im their step mom. It almost seems that I have to prove myself all over again.
The pregnancy has not been going good. A few weeks ago I made my second month and then tragedy struck. I started bleeding and I ran to the emergency room. I lost the baby and I am so sad. I feel as though I failed. I keep thinking what I could have done differently.
I told Marcos about the pregnancy and me losing the baby. He was devastated. He didn't know how to console me. I didnt need his consolation. I needed to be by myself for a while.
I know that I have shut Marcos out but I just need a little time. Marcos is a great husband and he understands. He kisses me when he comes home and always says, "remember I love you and i'm waiting for you". That is the main reason why I love my husband and for tonight I will cook him dinner and tell him how much I love him. I just hope he forgives me for shutting him out.
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