Linda age 25
Linda had left Viramontes over two years ago and was busy getting her singing career on track. She began to sing on a small tour with her boyfriend Jonah Powers. She was living life on the fast pace. Back in Viramontes she was a 23 year old with a newborn quadruplets. Her husband was Marcos Barillas but he kicked her out when she voiced her need to go on tour. Here she was two years later, she was happy had way more money but she was still lonely.
Narrated by Linda:
" Cant you see? that I need you as you need me...oh oh oh"
I got on stage and sang my heart out. I loved the feeling of being the center of attention. It had been two hard years for our group but finally we cut a record and were waiting for the money. As much as I loved the stage, I missed my family back home. My children were now two years old.
After the set, Jonah came up to me and asked if I was OK. It was time to tell him that I was done with this tour. I needed to go back to Viramontes and take care of my responsibility. I began this tour by having an affair with Jonah. Many months later I am so bored with him that I could scream. I felt bad because I left my kids behind for this. Now that I know that I could achieve stardom I was finally satisfied. Surprisingly Jonah understood that this tour was over. Somehow I have to tell him that this relationship is also over. For now I have to take one step at a time.
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Go figure that the day I get back its pouring rain. No No this is not my house. I actually rented an apartment here for now. Eventually I want to buy a house but for now this apartment will do. I needed to contact Marcos to schedule to see my kids. We had a lot of things to discuss but the most important thing was to see my kids.
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Marcos and I decided to meet at my apartment to discuss the details on seeing my children. I felt nervous. I didnt know whether or not I would maybe feel something for Marcos or whether he would yell at me and not allow me to see my kids. After all we did need to discuss the divorce proceedings.
I came out to the hallway and he was sitting there. I looked at him and was amazed how older he looked. I imagined that he would stay the same way as I left him but I thought wrong.
"Hello Marcos. thank you for coming to see me on such short notice."
"its no problem. Im still on duty so I need to know what you wanted? We also need to discuss our divorce proceedings. I havent heard from you so were scheduled to appear at court next week to end our marriage"
"Oh, I didnt think you would file with out me."
"Linda, you left. Of course I would file paperwork. I need my life and my children's life to move on."
"Your not going to let me see the kids are you?"
"Linda. I am not that cruel. You can see the kids at any time you want. The only stipulation is that they live with me. "
"and who decided that? I never decided to leave them with you."
"Linda you did that when you went on your tour. You cant just leave and expect everything to be frozen in time. It doesnt work that way."
"Marcos this is a lot to take can we sit down over there... I need to gather my thoughts."
"Sure"
"Well... is there anything you would like to ask me Marcos?"
"No. well yes there is. Are you staying in town or are you going back on tour?"
"I plan to stay for now. I have a gig downtown but I cut a record and may have to travel. "
"thats great. I m happy for you."
"Are you not going to ask what went wrong? Or where I have been?"
"No Linda. Listen I dont have much time. Nothing went wrong on my end. You decided to leave with Jonah and start a new life. I dont care where you have been. We can work things out for our kids but thats it. I dont want you back in my personal life. I just want my kids, our kids to be happy. I am happy. I dont want to hear why you left. I assumed you would be back for the kids and thats it."
"I know you dont care Marcos but I need to get this off my chest. I always wanted to be a singer. I always dreamed of being on stage and singing a song that everyone knew the words to. I know I made a mistake in having my affair with Jonah. I was lonely and with four kids on my own it was more than I could handle. I needed to escape but I know I cant make up for lost time but I want to be part of my kids life."
"And you will be ....Linda.. Listen im sorry but I have to go back to work."
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In the weeks that followed Jonah had set up some gigs downtown for us to play. I didnt want to stop my career but it was not a high priority any more. Talking with Marcos made me realize that I actually missed having a family with him. I know that he would never love me again. I am not even dreaming about it. Marcos is the type of guy that once he doesnt love you anymore its simply over. I sang my heart out and as I was singing a sad song I looked at Jonah and its as if he knew something was up.
"Thanks for singing tonight Linda. I know that your still fixing things with Marcos and the kids. Can we get together and maybe go out for dinner. We need to reconnect you know. I think with all the chaos we have lost touch. We have been together almost two years. We need to celebrate."
"Jonah lets head over there and talk a bit. OK?"
I told Jonah that it was not working out. I know that he knew but he didnt want to accept it. He thought that me leaving my marriage was proof enough of my commitment for him. In the end he accepted, but he was sorry to see me go. I knew it would be hard for him to see me on a day to day basis so I quit the band. He was upset at me quitting but understood. Now I would wait and receive my residuals from the record that we cut.
Both of us were excited when we cut the record. Now we just sat there looking at each other. I was happy that my dream was somewhat accomplished. Jonah on the other hand didnt want to end his dream there. Eventually he would find another singer, form another band and continue rocking until his heart stopped. This would be the last day that I ever saw Jonah in my lifetime. He plainly disappeared.
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After our divorce was final, Marcos came over and brought Pearl to see me. I wanted to see all four children but Marcos thought it would be best to ease them into it. Marcos was always working and it was strange to see him in his uniform everytime I saw him.
Pearl was so big. I just felt horrible knowing that I left her and her brothers behind. When Pearl first got there she was so fussy. She didnt want to be held nor did she want any of my attention. Finally I convinced her to allow me to hold her. I know it will take time but my heart just hurts thinking about my kids not knowing until today who I was.
I snuggled my little Pearl and promised her and myself that we would never be separated as we were these past two years.
Marcos came to pick up Pearl and I just wanted to hold on to her forever.
"Listen Linda. I think that if your willing we should have the kids live with you for some time then with me. We need to decide. I dont want them moving around too much but at the same time I want them to get to know you."
"I think thats a good idea. I will have to get a new apartment because we wouldnt fit here. I think I may even get a small house. Give me a month and they can come live with me for a few months OK?"
"Thats fine. OK well Pearl and I have to get home. Linda its nice having you back for the kids. Take care."
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