Brianna Barillas-Chalmers Ch 8- And now im alone.

Brianna(37) Neal (38), their children: Taylor(9), Isaiah(7) and Samira (1)
Narrated by Brianna.

It is still a shock to me. I hold my little miracle Samira tight. I still can not believe that Neal is gone. Just a few days ago I was hugging him and telling him how much I loved him. Yet here I am today a widow. It happened at work, something went wrong with a weapon he was testing. I ask myself, should I have let Neal work so long in the military? It was a freak accident so much that they did not let me see his body. Yes....I hold Samira because she is the one baby that Neal and I created together. My kids are what keeps me going.

At the funeral, Simon and Brandi came back from their vacation home to see how I was doing. Simon was still shocked about Neils accident. I just stood there staring at them and Brandi told me, "If you need to then come back with us. You can rest on Tikki Island with the kids."
As much as I wanted to I could not take the kids out of school. They needed some for of normalcy.

Ian showed up at last. I thought he was not going to show since he is always out with some girl. I hugged my triplett brother. He and Marcos and I were born from our mother together and because of this we share a special connection. He knew I needed him and thats why he was here.
"I am so sorry Bri...really sorry"
"Just hug me Ian....."

We all paid our last respects. The kids were too sad and confused to even say anything. My family all hugged me and I just wanted to get this day over with.

I have been back to work but all my emotional strength is gone by the time I get home. My brother Marcos has been a big help during my whole ordeal. My whole family has been there for me. Marcos takes care of Samira while I sit and stare. I keep thinking this is just a dream but then I realize that it is not.

I hate hearing the kids cry. Isaiah worries so much about me now. He worries that I am not going to come home some day. I understand his fear and I also realize that sooner rather than later we will have to see someone to talk about our feelings.

Samira turned two and she reminds me of Neal so much. I still can not believe that I did not celebrate her birthday. I just do not feel like having all my family over and attending to them. The worse is that now I feel that they will over crowd me.

Dinners are quieter than before. Isaiah is playing soccer now and that gives us the opportunity to go and watch him play. I just hope that Taylor will get into an extra activity. I worry about her being so quiet now.

Samira is finally brave enough to start taking those first few steps. It is a blessing and terror at the same time. Before I know it I am sure she will be running all over the place and knocking everything down.

Just when I think a little normalcy or at least what resembles it arrives, Taylor starts to cry uncontrollably. I have set up an appointment with a psychologist to discuss Neal's passing.

My brother Marcos comes to the rescue and takes Taylor to his home to play with his kids. I just hope that we will be able to move on. Its been over a year of Neal's passing and I have now stopped being angry for him dying. Now I just thank god that Taylor has plenty of male role models to look up to.

I came back because I missed Neil. I also visited my parents and my little sister Adrienne. I cant believe that it has been so long since my parents and little sister passed. At least Neil will have some company in heaven. Why is this so hard?

Brianna Barillas-Chalmers Ch 7

Brianna (35), Neal (36) their kids: Taylor (7) and Isaiah (5)

The family is still getting used to having both kids go to school. It is so nice to see that the whole family gets ready and is out the door on time.

Neal has really enjoyed his promotion to Commander and has even contemplated pursing further promotions. As of now he enjoys coming home and barbecuing for us.

When I am off, we managed to get some basketball games in. Lately I have been feeling tired and not really up for playing B-Ball.

We are also trying to socialize more. Ever since Mary came and asked for my advice on Ian I have been feeling guilty. I think Ian is indeed cheating on her but I have not proved it. I guess my effort in making them work is by inviting them over and having them see how well our family gets along.

The best feeling is still laying in bed together. I told Neal that I had my doctor's appointment and he was going to call with some lab results. Neal was scared but I was not. For some reason I was confident everything was going to turn out right.

I got the news from the doctor and I ran to tell Neal. He was shocked that I just barged into the bathroom. I couldn't help but blurt out, "i'm pregnant". Neal just stared at me. He was surprised since I was told I could never have kids. This is the reason we had two beautiful adopted children. Now we had this miracle baby and we didn't know how to react.

I had a very low key baby shower. My sister-in-laws and sisters were shocked to hear that I was pregnant. Neal took very good care of me. He made sure I did nothing that would cause a miscarriage.

The kids were happy but we quelled their fears of us loving this baby more. Both Neal and I have never from the kids hid the fact that we were honored to adopt them.

Gratefully they get along. Sometimes I wonder how it will be when the new baby arrives. I am sure that they will love it as much as they love each other. Neal could not be happier. He even told me that he had even contemplated asking about adopting again prior to my big announcement.

We try to have family game night and as always reinforce that we are a family no matter what. I think my kids are the best (of course im biased). Neal enjoys the llama game a bit to much. Where as I tend to hold back Neal actually gets competitive.

Soon enough it was time for me to give birth. I was a little scared because it was my first ever birth.

We welcomed a beautiful baby girl and named her Samira.

Brianna Barillas-Chalmers ch 6

Brianna (33), Neil (34), their children: Taylor (5) and Isaiah (3)
Narrated by: Neil.

It feels good to wake up to a household that is nice and quiet. I must admit there are times when I am still waiting to wake up and realize that this is all a dream. I love feeling the warmth of my wife's body next to mine and knowing that she is loved. My kids haven't woken up yet so I get up from bed and proceed to get them ready.
Isaiah has adjusted well to our family. Taylor our daughter, is acting up a little bit but we are hoping to nip that in the bud.

I have a talk with Taylor during our breakfast outside. She looks at me and just melts me with her little brown sad eyes looking at me. I know that part of the problem that she is acting this way at school is me. I look at how beautiful she is and I fail to discipline her as I should. But not today! I told her that she was loved but just as her mom and I have chores so does she.
She looked at me and began to question why she had to go to school instead of being home with her mom. I told her that it was what we all have done and sooner rather than later she would be done with school. She promised she would do her homework and act right in class.
"Now remember young lady, no talking while the teacher is teaching...agreed?"
"Yes daddy. But what if I know she is saying the wrong thing?"
"Well if she is asking for an answer and you happen to know its wrong then raise your hand. Once she acknowledges you then proceed to tell her. Most of all remember to be courteous to others".
She agreed but for some reason I already knew that it was a lost cause. I just hoped that she would manage to follow the rules at least for one day.

By the time Taylor and I left, Isaiah was still busy eating his breakfast. I kiss my wife goodbye and told her to have a great day. I kissed my son and then headed off to drop off Taylor at school and then go to work.

When I came home, I was surprised to see my brother-in-law Ian at my house. Apparently he came by to see Brianna and for us to meet Mary better. I still have not gotten over the shock that Ian divorced Debbie and now is with this new girl. Not only that but they have a newborn daughter that is the loveliest baby that I have seen.

Once inside we threw some hamburgers on the grill and decided to have an impromptu barbecue. Everything was going fine until the phone rang. I excused myself and dreaded answering it. I saw the caller ID and I saw that it was Taylor's school.

"I understand. She has not turned in any of her homework? No no that ends today. She will have all her assignments for tonight done by tomomorrow morning. No its no trouble at all. On the contrary, thank you for letting me know. "

While everyone was getting ready to sit down, I manged to get Taylor and take her to Brianna's office.
"What did I tell you about school? They called..."
"Daddy I did everything they told me"
"Taylor, you have not done your homework. Now you march upstairs and do it. I will come up later to review it. I want things neat young lady. "


Dinner wiht Ian and his new girlfriend turned out nice. My other newphew Sebastian had come along to play with Taylor but she was on punishment. We all conversed and Brianna shared stories about their childhood. We naturally talked about our kids. I was amazed that my nephews, Julio and August were getting so big already. Soon they would venture out college if they choose.

Ian wanted to talk to Brianna so I got Isaiah and Taylor ready for bed.
I saw Ian whispering to Brianna and my curiosity was peaked. I just couldnt go out there and say, "hey what are you two talking about" I would just have to wait.

At bedtime Brianna came up and told me that Ian had thanked her for the wonderful dinner and for making Mary feel at home. When I asked her if Ian mentioned marriage she told me that no. It seems Ian was content on just living together with her. I cant say I blame him. He has to give $4,000 a year for child support. I just hope that he knows what he is doing.
At least were happy. We discussed Taylor's lack of homework and then we went off to sleep. I was content and happy just being there snuggled by my wife Brianna.

Brianna Barillas-Chalmers Ch--5

Brianna (31) her husband Neil (32)
Taylor (3)
Narrated by Neil Chalmers


Brianna and I have been doing well in our marriage and in raising our daughter Taylor. Because of this we have been tossing back and forth the idea of actually adopting another baby. Brianna was excited when I approached her regarding adoption. She thought it was a great idea and would schedule an appointment with the family planning social worker.

We had our interview and it went well. The social worker was happy to see that we were willing to open up our home to a child in need.

"Do you think the interview went well Neil?"
"I do. We just have to be patient. Before we know it we will have the answer"
We both were nervous about getting approval and about actually receiving another baby.

I would get home and play with Taylor. When she would nap I would read the paper or find some other things to do.

Meanwhile Brianna focused on her career. She figured that she should get promoted while she had the time to work at home. Taylor was almost 5 and now kept herself occupied with hew new toys.

It seemed that it happened from one day to the next. At first the counselor came over to tell us we were approved. Next thing I knew we were getting a baby sooner than we expected.

Our baby boy was brought to us and he was as beautiful as Taylor was when we received her. We paid the adoption fee of $5,000 and decided to name him Isaiah.

My family felt complete. Finally we were able to have a boy and a little girl. Brianna and I right away took some family pictures.

For now they are going to share a room. We have to fix the rooms upstairs for the ourselves or put Taylor on the third floor. For now I am just happy getting them both to sleep.

We had a barbecue to introduce Isaiah to the rest of our extended family. the barbecue was a success and everyone had tons of fun. It felt nice to have the family come over.

Before we knew it Isaiah turned one and he was active as ever. He wanted to learn to crawl and basically put his hands on everything. We didnt allow him to do much damage. I still cant wait until we can play b-ball together.

Yep we are doing find in our marriage and our family is doing great.

Brianna Barillas-Chalmers Chapter 4

Brianna age 29, Neil age 30 and their Daughter Taylor age 1
Narrated by Brianna

I hate to admit it but im so stressed about getting a promotion at work. Neil told me that I had to calm down so he offered to give me some kickboxing lessons he learned from work. It did the trick. I know can relieve my stress out on the punching bag.

I feel guilty that I have to leave my one year old baby Taylor with a Nanny. I try to rush home but it is hard when your on the Viramontes Council. We hired a wonderful nanny who takes care of Taylor's every wish. I was concerned since I heard that some Nannies are notorious for ignoring their babies. Thankfully our is everything but careless.

The good thing is that Neil gets home early to relieve the nanny. Taylor loves her daddy and her daddy loves her. Not a day goes by when we thank god that we were able to adopt such a wonderful child. We are beginning of thinking of maybe adopting another child so that Brianna can have another baby sister or brother.

Despite having Taylor, our social life is as vivid and entertaining as always. We try to invite my family members over for dinner quite often. I think my family has accepted that my house is the reunion house. Nothing makes me happier than having my family over. On this particular night I had my sister Amarilis and her spouse Meadow(who I am talking to) come over as well as my triplett brother Ian and his wife Debbie.

I also managed to have my nephew Dylan stop by with his new husband. I have to admit Mr. Wilkie is actually quite entertaining. I could see why Dylan fell in love with Leo Wilkie. I do worry about how they will have kids if Leo is so much older than Dylan.

No matter how much I try to get Taylor ready to go to sleep prior to having people over it never really works. I think Taylor is much a social butterfly like her mother and father. Dylan came up to see if he could help. I used this opportunity to ask him about having kids and to my surprise he told me that he never really wanted to have any. I guess there is no need to worry. I just hope that they live a wonderful long life together.

The other day I was trying to help my now two year old to learn to walk. Neil had to work on some paperwork from work and he was busy yet managed to give a word or two of support. I heard the doorbell ring and it surprised us because we really didnt expect anyone to come over.

I was shocked to see it was my brother Ian. I asked him if he was OK because he looked worried and flushed. He said he needed to talk to me about how to make marriage work. This actually worried me because I thought that he and Debbie were quite stable.
I heard his issues about Debbie paying more attention to the kids than him. I also heard him say that he may have married someone that was much older than he is. Needless to say that my brother married Debbie without any of us knowing that they were going out. Now it becomes an issue because they are getting older and Ian will never catch up to Debbie's age. I felt bad for my brother but told him to keep working at it and to find counseling for their marriage. He thanked me for listening and said he had to get back home.

By the time I was finished talking to Ian, I went upstairs and woke up my poor hubby Neil.
"What did Ian want?"
"I think his marriage with Debbie is in trouble"
"really? Why now?"
"I told him to go to counseling. do you think we might need counseling?"
At this point Neil rolled over and responded:
"Were fine. Try not to let Ian's problems become our problems."
and with that I had my answer. My husband was right. I had to let my baby brother fix this on his own.

Neil and I came up with the wonderful idea to have a family reunion. When we said family reunion we meant it. I was going to have a barbecue and invite every single family member of ours. Neil also suggested that I hire a photographer to take a family picture of the Barillas sisters and brother. I thought it was a great idea. I called everyone up and they were all for it.

It was great that we all got together to take this picture. It was also a sad moment because we missed our sister
Adrienne who passed a few years back. From left to right: Amarilis, Consuelo, Oscar Simon II (they are triplets), Myself (with the pink shirt), Ian and Marcos ( we are the second set of triplets in the family), Adam(with the pink shirt) and last but not least our baby brother Justin. Its amazing how we are growing up. I just wish we did this before my parents passed away.

The barbecue was a success. We were so busy serving food and making sure that everyone was having a good time.

I went to check in on Taylor and the rest of my nieces and nephews. I had to get some wine for us to drink when I looked outside and I loved what I saw. I saw my family together having a great time. I sighed and said to myself, "this is what its all about... family".